Thank-you to Marcy &
Posted by tom | Aug 10, 2006Arlan for allowing me to borrow The Paradox of Choice, some of you might remember that I picked it up in a spring visit to D.C. along with Freakonomics. I'll be returning it to them at a pool party w/friends from the Grove on Saturday at Jen and Randy Brandt's. As a fitting conclusion to these posts and as a preparation for our coming time together
Perhaps most important, if you limit the number of choices you make and the number of options you consider, you're going to have more time available for what's important than people who are plagued by one decision after another, always in search of the best. You could use that time wisdely by getting to know more deeply your lovers, your children, your parents, your friends, your patients, your clients, your students. The real challenge in life is . . .
doing the right thing in social interactions. It is knowing how to balance honesty with kindness, courage with caution, encouragement with criticism, empathy with detachment, paternalism with respect for autonomy. We have to have to figure this balance out case by case, person by person. And the only way to do so is by getting to know the other people you are most closely linked to -- by taking the time to listen to them, to imagine life through their eyes, and to allow yourself to be changed -- even transformed -- by them. In a hurried world that forces you to make decision after decision, each involving almost unlimited options, it's hard to find the time. You may not always be conscious of this, but your effort to get the best car will interfere with your deire to be a good friend. Your effort to get the best job will intrude on your duty to be the best parent. And so, if the time, you save by following some of my suggestions is redirected to the improvement of your relationships with other people in your life, you will not only make your life happier, you will improve theirs. It's what economists call Pareto efficient, a change that benefits everybody.
May these decisions be framed by the Biblical story, i.e., the Gospel. Previous posts in this series include:
